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The King of July 4th

from The King of July 4th by Burger Stuffer Supreme

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In 2015
Two gurgitators took the stage
Joey was the eight time champ
Matt eight years less in age

Joey had a rough year
Love life in the pits
His stomach wanted win nine
But his heart just wasn’t in it

At the end of the ten minutes
When the gorging was all done
Joey ate 60 hot dogs
Matt had crammed two more…

… and won


It’s a beautiful day on Coney Island New York
The sun is shining, hot dogs are stacked on plates
Matt is looking good, Joey’s looking determined
I’d bet all of my french fries this contest will be great

Joey tells the crowd how he used to play the trumpet
So his cheeks are good at puffing out which helps him in this sport
Matt says he’s determined to keep the Mustard Belt
He beat Joey before and doesn’t think he’ll fall short


How much can the body take?
How much can it eat?
Why would anybody do this?
Why would anyone compete?

I feel bloated after eating
One big retaurant meal
I can’t imagine how eating so much
Would make me feel


The fans out in the crowd were many tens of thousands strong
Not counting all the millions who watch it on TV
I wish that I could be there but at least watching at home
I don’t get any half chewed hot dog spewings landing on me

Joey quickly took the lead, his jaws biting through and true
At the end he’d eaten seventy, and Matt, fifty-two
And though the contest was hard fought, and both men came to play
Joey's 70 hot dogs set an all-time record today


How much can the body take?
How much can it eat?
Food debris flies everywhere
But really this is pretty neat

It may be kind of odd to watch
An eater stuff his face
But I can't deny I'm riveted by
This oddly compelling race


And when they are done
With eating head to head
They’ll shake each others’ hands and
Joke about not feeling fed

Then they’ll go to a restaurant
And break bread as friends
Laughing about
How it came out in the end


How much can the body take?
How much can it eat?
How much can you push yourself
To be in the elite?

I guess we all just want to
Say there’s something we do best
I don’t know how they do it but
I admit I am very impressed


from The King of July 4th, released June 29, 2018
Written, performed and (c) 2016 / 2018 by Burger Stuffer Supreme and Odilon Green


all rights reserved



Burger Stuffer Supreme

I write songs about competitive eating. Because eating is fundamental.

I also write songs about beards for my band Opinionated Whiskers, linked below.

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