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Especially Righteous Appetite (Little Arlene)

from The King of July 4th by Burger Stuffer Supreme

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I was thinking back
To those 70s days
When female athletes
Gained so much praise
for breaking down
The glass ceilings in sport

Diane Crump
rode the Kentucky Derby
The first woman of NASCAR
was Janet Guthrie
And Billie Jean King
served the ultimate tennis retort

And then there was . . .

Little Arlene
So small and petite
But Little Arlene,
She really could eat
Every man thinks
He's the king of the table
But Little Arlene . . .
She earned that label


Now, the Seventy-Sixers
Were a basketball team
With a halftime show
That made fans scream
'Cause Arlene's eating
Left mouths open in shock

One time she challenged
Five huge guys
Known as the Phil-ups
Each twice her size
Food was brought out
And she just said "let's rock"

Because she was . . .



She ate twenty-three hot dogs
Twenty-two pizza slices
Sixteen large cokes
While the men were all in crisis
Even all together
They just could not compete

Their guts were all a-tumble
And as they left the floor
Arlene faced the crowd and said
She was ready to eat more
An Oyster eating contest
at the restaurant down the street


And the thing that no one knew
Until the team staff went to pay
Arlene's bill at the hotel
Where she'd been put up for the game
Was that before the half-time show
And her triumphant food fight
She'd had a full-course roast beef dinner
Just to stoke her appetite



from The King of July 4th, released June 29, 2018
Written, performed and (c) 2014 / 2018 by Burger Stuffer Supreme and Odilon Green


all rights reserved



Burger Stuffer Supreme

I write songs about competitive eating. Because eating is fundamental.

I also write songs about beards for my band Opinionated Whiskers, linked below.

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